Destructive Thoughts and Behaviors
What are self-destructive thoughts and behaviors?
Self-destructive thoughts or behaviors are when you do things that will cause self-harm, whether it’s emotional or physical.
Self-destructive thoughts often take the form of negative self-talk. Self-talk is nonverbal and happens in your head. These are repeated thoughts about yourself that quickly become things you believe. When you use self-talk in a bad way, you tear yourself down, this is known as negative self-talk. It is a critical inner voice that attacks and judges you.
Self-destructive behavior is any behavior or lack of behavior that actively contributes to negative outcomes. Self-destructive behavior is caused when a person inflicts harm on themselves or puts themselves in risky situations where harm may occur.
Common Self-Destructive Thoughts:
All-or-Nothing Thinking: You view situations in black and white. If anything is short of perfection, you view it as a total failure.
Example: “If I am not working 24/7, I will not be successful.”
Over-Generalization: When an unfortunate but isolated event occurs and you start believing that it will continue to happen.
Example: “I didn't land this job, so no one will ever hire me.”
Mental Filter: You focus only on the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive ones. You may fixate on a tiny mishap.
Example: You think “My life is all terrible” But there are more positive things in your life than negative things
Mind Reading: You assume people are thinking poorly about you even though there is no evidence to suggest they are thinking about you.
Example: “That person looked at me funny so it means they hate me.”
Fortune telling: You think things will turn out badly for you even if there is no good reason to believe that.
Example: “I know I’m never going to find a partner who will love me.”
Magnification or Minimization: You blow a small blunder out of proportion and beat yourself up over it or you disregard great things about yourself or that you have done.
Magnification Example: “I got an A- instead of an A+, I am a total failure.”
Minimization Example: “Anyone could have done that, that wasn’t a real success.”
Emotional Reasoning: You think that the way you feel accurately reflects how things really are.
Example: “I feel overwhelmed right now therefore I am a complete emotional wreck, I must be crazy, and a failure as a human being.”
“Should” Statements: You criticize yourself and others with “should” statements without questioning the validity of your assumptions.
Example: “I should be in better shape.”
Labeling: You identify yourself with your shortcomings.
Example: You made a mistake and you say “I am stupid.”
Personalization: You assume you are fully to blame for things that are not totally your fault.
Example: “It’s all my fault!”
Common Self-Destructive Behaviors:
Attempting Suicide
Self-Injury: cutting, hair pulling, burning
Binge Eating or Starving Oneself
Compulsive Activities: Gambling, Gaming, or Shopping
Impulsive and Risky Sexual Behavior
Alcohol and Drug Abuse
Being Self-Derogatory
Changing Yourself to Please Others
Clinging to Someone Not Interested in You
Engaging in Alienating or Aggressive Behavior that Pushes People Away
Maladaptive Behaviors: Chronic Avoidance, Procrastination, or Passive-Aggressiveness
Wallowing in Self-Pity
What are common risk factors for self-destructive behavior and thoughts?
You might be more prone to behave in a self-destructive manner if you’ve experienced:
Alcohol or Drug Use
Childhood Trauma, Neglect, or Abandonment
Emotional or Physical Abuse
Friends Who Self-Injure
Low Self-Esteem
Social Isolation or Exclusion
Or if you have a mental health condition, such as:
Anxiety Disorders
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality Disorders
Obsessive-Compulsive Behaviors (OCD)
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
If you or someone you know is struggling with destructive thoughts or behaviors, contact us for a free Well-Being Consultation.