Overcoming Destructive Thoughts and Behaviors

Steps to Self-Cope

1. Self-awareness

   • It is difficult to stop if you don’t realize you are doing it. Be aware of when it is happening. If you feel that your inner voice is overly critical and judgemental, it is usually the first indication of destructive thoughts.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts

   • Whenever you have a distorted thought, stop and evaluate whether it is accurate. Think about how you would respond if someone else spoke about themselves that way. You most likely would offer a rebuttal to their negative view. Apply this same logic to your own thoughts. 

3. Release Judgment

   • We all judge ourselves and others. Constantly comparing yourself to other people or to some ideal creates dissatisfaction. When you are able to let go of judgment, you will feel more at ease. To take a break from judgmental thoughts recognize your own reaction, observe it, and then let it go. Another helpful technique is to look for positive qualities. When you notice you are negatively judging a person, yourself, or a situation, look for a positive quality, too.

4. Practice Gratitude

   • Feeling grateful increases your levels of positivity and happiness. Even when you are experiencing a challenge, you can usually find things to be grateful for. Noticing the things that are going well and making you feel happy will keep you in touch with them. Keeping a gratitude journal and writing a few things in it every day is an effective way to do this.

5. Focus on your strengths

   • We often dwell on the negative and overlook the positive. The more you practice focusing on your strengths and not dwelling on mistakes, the easier it will be to feel positive about yourself.  If you find yourself thinking harsh thoughts about your personality or actions, take a moment to stop and think about something you like about yourself.

6. Practice Mindfulness

   • Be mindful of your body and thoughts and acknowledge the emotions you are feeling at the present moment. Once you have allowed yourself a certain amount of time to process the thought and accompanying emotions then take a break from focusing on it and move on with your day. You can participate in activities that help alleviate your destructive thoughts. It can simply be in the form of yoga or meditation to relax the mind, talking to somebody about what is bothering you, or doing hobbies that you enjoy. 

Seeking Help

There is no need to struggle with self-destructive behaviors alone because help is available. A pattern of self-destructive behavior or any amount of physical self-harm is a more serious matter. These behaviors have serious consequences. If that sounds like your situation, it’s time to seek help.

Start by seeing a qualified mental health professional for an evaluation. An interview will help the therapist learn more about your behavior and its clinical significance. It’s important to determine if self-destructive behavior is part of a mental health disorder. This knowledge will help guide treatment.

How is self-destructive behavior treated?

Treatment will be tailored to your specific needs. The frequency and severity of symptoms are essential considerations. Therapy may include:

Talk therapy: This can help you understand the origin of your self-destructive behaviors. You can also learn how to manage stress and deal with challenges in a healthier way. Sessions can be one-on-one with your therapist, with family involvement, or in a group setting.

Behavioral therapy: This can be used in the short or long term. Your therapist can help you become more aware of triggers and how to respond in a less disruptive way.

Other conditions may also need to be addressed. This may involve:

• Addiction Counseling

• Anger Management

• Stress Management

• Medication may be used to treat conditions, such as:

  • Depression

  • Anxiety disorders

  • Bipolar Disorder

  • Obsessive-Compulsive Behaviors (OCD)

  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

  • Severe Self-Injury or Suicide Attempt